How To Get Rid of Annoying Love Rivals
by xShootingxStarzx
Summary: Edward stood in front of the door labeled, “How to Get Rid of Annoying Parasites Called Love Rivals 101.” And right under that, concealed from mortal eye, was another sign that seemed to be part of the one on top, “for mythical creatures.” ExB JxOC
1. Enemies Turned Best Friends

**Here it is, my first twoshot ever! It just came to me, and it wouldn't get out of my head, so I decided to make it a oneshot! I was pondering on whether to make it AU or not, but I decided not to. R & R!!**

**Twoshot- **

**Summary: **

**Edward stood in front of the door labeled, "How to Get Rid of Annoying Parasites Called Love Rivals 101." And right under that, concealed from mortal eye, was another sign that seemed to be part of the one on top, "for mythical creatures." Edward has, like many have in a relationship, jealousy issues. Except for the fact that he's a vampire, he's just like any other guy. He wants to find a way to get rid of annoying guys without going overboard, and that includes beating them into a pulp.**

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: I do not own Twilight or any of the Twilight characters.**

_Italics are thoughts._

Edward Cullen pondered in front of the door labeled, "How to Get Rid of Annoying Parasites Called Love Rivals 101." Under it, hidden from mortal eye, was an extension of the previous sign, "For Mythical Creatures." Even after he and Bella were officially together as a couple, there were a lot of parasites that still didn't leave Bella alone. First, there was Mike Newton, the leader of the pack of parasites that stuck to Bella like glue. Then, there was Eric Yorkie, second-in-command in the parasite-filled school. Oh, and we can't forget the more intimidating rival of all, Jacob Black. Yes, the guy Edward hated the most, yet the one he was the most scared of. But lately he hasn't seen him lately, which was good.

He knew about the relationship between Jake and Bella. He knows about how Bella does indeed love the werewolf. As much as he would like to rip Jake's throat apart, he knows he can't. Not only because of the contract, but because he knows hurting Jake would hurt her.

Why he's in front of this weirdly labeled class, you ask? Well, he's gotten sick and tired of all of the guys who flirt and do even more than flirt, with Bella. Now, he decided to do something about it, either to be able to calm himself down and control himself, or learn how to kick their asses without killing them.

He exhaled the breath he held. Even though he doesn't need to breath, breathing makes him feel a little bit more human. Slowly, but surely, he turned the brass doorknob until it was opened about an inch. There, in front of him, were mythical creatures of all sorts. Even if they weren't human, they were men and women, all with feelings. And a heart, even if some of them stopped beating.

"Hello, welcome to How to Get Rid of Annoying Parasites Called Love Rivals 101 For Mythical Creatures. I'm the teacher, my name is Mr. Vincent Schmitzkuhagen. But you can call me Mr. Schmit. You must be Edward Cullen, the vampire. Come and have a seat." Mr. Schmit said.

He walked across toward the desk he pointed at. As he walked, he noticed the other occupants of the class. There was an ogre, a phaerie, a witch, a warlock, a leprechaun, and a talking three headed dog. _There's an interesting pack of creatures._

A woman with spiked purple hair entered the room. "Hello dudes and dudettes. I'm the other teacher for this class. My name is Sasha Timbleland. Just call me Shay. This class is for those of you who have major jealousy issues and are mythical creatures. Let me guess, you guys want to scare off the people who bother your lovers, but you are scared to use your powers to the full extent. So you want to know how to get rid of them since you don't know how without losing control."

Everyone in the room nodded, including Edward. He really wants to protect Bella, but he has to protect his secret. Bella is one popular girl at their university. Especially since he turned Bella into a vampire, she's grown even more beautiful. A lot of guys stare after her with hearts in their eyes, and drool falling from their mouths. He wants to let them know that she's his, not anyone else's.

"Okay, first, let's introduce ourselves. You already know Shay and I, let's get to know each other." Mr. Schmit said. "You over there on the right, the ogre. Tell us about yourself and what brought you here."

The ogre shifted uncomfortably. It was a guy ogre, he had the usual blotchy skin, with the unusual ears, he was really fit, an rare trait among ogres. He was wearing baggy jeans and a t-shirt that said, "Shrek RULES!" "My name is Joey, and I'm an ogre obviously. I like to work out, I'm married and I love my wife. My favorite movie is Shrek. I'm 29 years old, and I'm here because my wife is beautiful and she's being tempted by ugly trolls and other cocky ogres."

"Good, you can sit down. You, the phaerie over there, you're next." Shay said.

The phaerie flew to the top of the desk. She was short in statue as many phaeries are. She was a good ten inches tall. Pretty tall for a phaerie. If she was human sized, she would sure attract many men. She had jet black hair, onyx eyes, and pale but slightly tanned skin. "My name is Clary and I'm a phaerie. I'm a famous actress in the phaerie universe. I'm 23 years old, and I'm here because my boyfriend is the most famous rocker in the phaerie universe, and I'm always getting called out by his fans. I want to show them who's his girlfriend even though I could just kick their a-"

"That's enough. You may sit down. Now, the witch and the warlock. I understand that you two are indeed a couple. Now explain why you're here." Mr. Schmit said.

The couple looked at each other nervously for reassurance. The warlock spoke first. "Well my name is Bret, and this is Ambre. We are both 25 years old. We met on my dating show. It's called, "Magic of Love with Bret Michaels." Ever heard of it? Well, Ambre won, and we're doing great together, but the problem is that the jealous contestants that lost have begun stalking us. And we want to get rid of them." Bret said.

"Oh, I saw your show! Well, you two can sit back down. Next is you, the leprechaun." Shay said.

The leprechaun was again, tall for her kind. She seemed about 5'0, in fact, very tall for a leprechaun. She had auburn hair, hazel eyes, pointy ears, and a gymnast body. "My name is Holly Short. I'm a LEPrecon captain in the Underground. So yeah, I'm pretty high up, I was the first female captain. I'm 15 years old. And I'm dating a...human. Yes, a human. His name is Artemis Fowl, world genius, you've probably heard of him. I'm here because of all the human fangirls he has, they also constantly mock me for my height, which I think is tall. He knows of my origin, the fangirls, of course, don't know."

"Okay, that's good. Alright, now, the three-headed dog." Mr. Schmit said.

Edward was thinking about how he's not the only one dating a human, he feels that Holly and he would get along pretty well. He thought the three headed dog, however, was a little out of place.

The three headed dog, had three heads, and was a dog of course. It seemed that the breed was a Canadian Eskimo Dog. One of the heads started to speak, "My name is Cerberus. My mate hasn't had puppies yet. But the other husky dogs won't leave her alone, they keep trying to mate with my woman. I want to rip them to shreds, but the dog council has strict rules about violence. So I thought I would try to do it the human way."

"Okay, this is the first time I had a dog in my class, but alright. Next is you, the vampire." Shay said.

Finally, it was his turn to speak. He wasn't nervous. Edward Cullen does not get nervous. "My name is Edward Cullen and I'm a vampire. I am 107 years old, but physically I am 17 years old. I'm a university student, and my wife is a human turned vampire. I was the one who turned her into a vampire after we got married. I also dated her when she was a human. I'm here because ever since she turned into a vampire, she's got guys flinging themselves at her from every directions, and my adopted father won't let me kill-hurt- them."

Everyone stared at him. They have heard of Edward Cullen. Everyone's heard his story before, the one about how he fought against a whole army of vampires with his family, and how he fell in love with a human and turned her into a vampire. They never thought that they would meet him in this kind of class.

"Okaa-y, that's all the people that are in this room. There are supposed to be two more people coming, I sent one of them to retrieve the other one, well because he doesn't have legs. Yeah one of them is a merman, and the other is a werewolf." Mr. Schmit said.

At the word werewolf, Edward tensed up. He didn't think there would be a werewolf in here, he felt like he was going to suffer in this class now, and hoped he could control himself from killing the werewolf. As we all know, Edward doesn't like werewolves. He despises them to the core, especially one named Jacob Black, also known as Jake. Even though he hasn't seen that werewolf in about a year and a half since their wedding, he still holds resentment for him. Jacob had shown up at their wedding, not happy at all, but still showed up. Bella was so happy and guilty to see him. He was there only briefly for the ceremony and left after saying a quick and strained "congratulations."

Suddenly the door swinged open. And there stood the guy he was just thinking about, Jacob Black. "Hey Mr. Schmit, I brought the merman." Jake said and he pushed a huge fish tank into the classroom. In the fish tank was the mentioned Merman. "Where do I put him?"

"Go put him in that huge opening in the middle of the room." Shay said. Jake pushed the tank to the described open space. Finally, Jake looked around and surprise was on his face when his eyes landed on the infamous vampire.

"You-what-why-here-Bella-vampire!" Jake stammered. Edward was surprised that Jake didn't have any malice in his voice. Only surprise, which was a surprise to him. He expected the werewolf to seeth at him, glare at him, curse at him, throw dirty looks at him, jump him, attack him, but he didn't, which was strange enough.

"Yes, it's me dog-boy. I'm still with Bella, and I'm still a vampire, and I have my reasons for being here." Edward replied as cold as he could. Jake could hear the coldness in it and started glaring at him.

"It's been so long and this is how you treat me?" Jake stated it more than asked it.

"I've always treated you like this. It's no change, what are you doing here of all places." Edward asked.

"I moved here for college blood-sucker, not like it's any of your business. Where's Bella?" Jacob asked.

"She's at home dog-boy." Edward replied. They started having a silent glaring contest. It went on for a while until Shay stopped them.

"Do you guys know each other?" Mr. Schmit asked.

"Unfortunately yes." Jake said.

Shay stopped them again from arguing and signaled for Jake to sit down. She then proceeded to ask the merman to introduce himself. The merman himself was a very good looking man, he looked pretty young though, about maybe 16 years old. "My name is Jay, and I'm a merman. I'm 16 years old, and I live in King Triton's kingdom. I'm one of the many princes there, and I am currently in a relationship with one of the main princesses of the kingdom, Princess Melody. But unfortunately for me, she has many admirers that plan to steal her from me. I'm here to make sure that doesn't happen."

"Alright, good, next is you werewolf." Shay said.

Jake sat up straightly. He cleared his voice. Jake's hair is now long like it used to be, in beautiful dark locks tied in a pony tail. He had his everlasting tan and as tall as ever. He's still as refreshingly handsome as he was before. "My name is Jacob Black, and I'm a werewolf. I'm 18 years old, and I just started college. I am dating a girl, she's a werewolf, and well, I kind of imprinted on her. I guess you could call it like love at first sight. But since we moved here, we've met a lot more werewolves. There's more here than there ever was at home and they all look at her like a piece of meat and I want to protect her."

Edward blinked once. He blinked twice. He wondered if he heard what he thinks he just heard. Jacob Black imprinted on another werewolf, and he's not in love with Bella anymore. That he came here for a woman that wasn't Bella. Did he hear right or was he just hallucinating? He hoped it was true...true that his biggest rival is out of the game.

"So you don't love Bella anymore?" Edward asked skeptically. Inwardly, he hoped that he didn't love her anymore.

"Well, I'll always love her." Jake replied somewhat amused. He knew how to get under Edward's skin, and sure was good at it because Edward immediately looked like he was about to kill.

Jake quickly continued, "Since she's my first love, she'll always be important to me. I love her, but I'm not IN love with her anymore. Like I said, I've imprinted and found my soul mate, so I only think of Bella as a friend now." He was afraid for his life a moment ago, but now Edward calmed down, glad that Jake wasn't chasing after Bella's affections anymore.

Edward suddenly had a little respect for the not so little werewolf. Before, the only reasons for his resentment toward Jake were because of Bella and him being a werewolf. But even Edward has grown up somewhat since then, he realized that love is confusing and complicated, and that it was the Cullen's fault for him becoming a werewolf.

Jake had also grown up. He isn't the reckless optimistic kid he was before. He's now mature, reasonable, realistic, and understanding. But of course, deep down inside, he's still the fuzzy werewolf wild child he'll always be. Now, instead of arguing with Edward at every chance, he's willing to start anew with the vampire.

"So, I'm guessing you still hate me." Jake said.

"Hn, I guess you're alright now, the main reason I hated you was because you clung onto Bella." Edward replied nonchalantly.

"Alright, now that the two of you have caught up, can we resume the class?" Mr. Schmit asked.

The guys grunted a yes and sat back down in their desks. Mr. Schmit started telling them how they should do things in a humane way.

"Okay, first on How to Get Rid of Annoying Parasites Called Love Rivals 101 for Mythical Creatures, we're going to tell you some methods." Mr. Schmit said.

"One way, you could openly tell people about your relationship, eventually they'll get the message and back off. But it's one of the safe methods that don't always work, some people are stubborn and keep going even after doing it." Shay said. "Another method is to constantly be around your lover. But that also has consequences, your lover might get annoyed and break it off."

What methods DO work then? All of those are ones that don't work. Aren't the supposed to learn methods that did work?

"Now on to the ones that DO work." Mr. Schmit said. "Try showing that you are their lover, and no one else. A little possessive, but not too much that it scares your partner away. Show a few signs of affection here and there for a little bit, but not too much either. It might scare away some of the suitors."

"Another one would be to just threaten a little. Threaten, not attack. Show them a little bit of what you can do. There's a 99 chance that they would all go away." Shay said. "You could approach the biggest one of them all, and you know, ask them a _favor_, if you know what I mean."

"Violence is a good way to persuade, not morally right, but effective." Mr. Schmit said.

"Okay, our class is now over. You're homework is to try the first method and see how it works. The one about openly telling about the relationship. Try it and see if it's effective." Shay said. "Class dismissed."

Everyone left the classroom. Edward and Jacob walked next to each other. "Do you want to see Bella?" Edward asked.

"Bella? Sure, why not. It's been a while since I last saw her." Jake replied. During the duration of the class, unexpectedly, the guys found that they had a lot in common, and even more surprisingly, they became friends. They exchanged numbers and gave each other's addresses.

They left the building and walked toward Edward's car. Jake's girlfriend had dropped him off, so he didn't have his car with him. "So what's your girlfriend's name?" Edward asked.

"Her name's Julie. Yeah, she's a werewolf." Jake replied.

"Did she live in La Push?" Edward asked. He started the car and drove out of the parking lot toward his condo.

"No, she lived in the same reservation Emily, Sam Uley's wife, lived. Her family, however, is from La Push, they migrated years ago." Jake said. Finally, Edward's car parked in front of a condo complex.

"Come on." Edward said. They chatted a little bit on the walk toward Edward's condo like they were friends their whole life. They used to be enemies, but he guessed that's what love does to a person.

They walked up to the door and entered the condo. Inside, the house was fully furnished, the walls were painted white, there were pictures of the Cullens everywhere, and it was not too big or too small, perfect for two people.

Jake heard some footsteps running down the stairs. "Edward! You're home!" She finally got to the bottom of the stairs and noticed the person standing behind Edward. Recognition was on her face as she looked at Jake. "Jake..." she muttered.

"Hey Bella..it's been a while." Jake said shyly. It's been a while since they last saw each other, he was happy to see her, but it's kind of awkward. They're cool and both already have lovers, but there's always going to be that little tugging at their hearts, love and heartbreak doesn't go away that easily.

Slowly, Bella smiled. She was happy to see him. He seemed happy, calm and mature now. "Yeah, it has been a while." She said. "And I'm kind of surprised you came with Edward, alive for that matter." With that comment, the tense atmosphere lifted and it felt like they were the best of friends. They all settled in the living room.

"It wasn't easy, but I got your stiff cold-hearted vampire husband to take me to you." Jake said. Bella giggled.

"I have no idea of what you're talking about." Edward said. He knew Jake was joking, but decided to play along. Years of being with Bella has softened him up.

They carried on talking about what each person was up to. Jake told Bella about Julie and how they met. Bella was truly happy for Jake. She was glad that Jake found the person he wants to be with, she was glad that he has finally gotten over her. She knew how Jake had felt about her and her becoming a vampire.

"I think I should get back now. Julie is probably freaking out." Jake joked. Right at that moment, Jake's phone rang.

"Hello? Oh hey Julie, yeah, I'm about to go home now." Jake said.

_"Where are you?" Julie asked._

"I'm at Bella's house, you know, the first love." Jake said.

_"WHAT?! Why are you at her house, JACOB BLACK?" Julie asked angrily._

"Don't worry, her husband's here too, the vampire." Jake quickly said. He was getting nervous, it's really Julie with the jealousy issues sometimes.

_"Okay good. Just get home quickly. Quil and Embry are here." Julie said after calming herself down._

"Okay, I'll be there soon. Bye, see you soon babe." Jake said.

_"Bye see you soon, and you're not that bad looking yourself sexy."Julie said. She hung up soon afterwards._

Jake hung up the phone and looked up at Edward. "Hey can you give me a ride home?" Jake asked.

"Sure, no problem." Edward said. "I'll be back soon, love."

"Okay, have a safe trip! Don't go too fast again or you'll get pulled over. Oh, and remember to wear your seat belt." Bella said cautiously. Ever since they got to this new city, Edward has gotten countless tickets. She's still surprised he hasn't gotten his license suspended yet.

"Yeah yeah, seat belts. Oh, and I'll be sure I'll be going at least 120 mph." Edward said teasingly.

"SHUT UP and drive safely." Bella replied.

Edward and Jacob got into his volvo and drove out of the parking lot. "So where do you live?" Edward asked.

"I live at Merridew Apartments, number 12." Jacob said.

"Okay. So why are you really taking our weird class? You don't seem to be the jealous type anymore." Edward asked.

"Really? Julie keeps telling I have this huge jealousy problem just because I _almost_ pounce on guys that get too close. _In werewolf form_." Jacob said.

"I know, and Bella says I have jealousy problems just because I give guys dirty looks and _almost _drag those guys to an alley to have a little _talk._" Edward said.

They both burst out laughing. They kept on talking and talking until they reached Jacob's apartment.

"Hey I always thought you were this prick that had no sense of humor. But I guess I was wrong. What's your phone number, we should get together sometimes with the guys from class." Jake said. He took out his cellphone.

"It's 555-1901." Edward said. Jacob put the number in and dialed the number. Edward's phone rang and then it stopped.

"There, now you have my number. Do you want to meet Julie?" Jacob asked.

"No thanks, your werewolf friends are in there, and I don't think they'd like to see me, but thanks anyways." Edward said.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, good luck on trying the method on Bella, I bet she'll feel really awkward and embarrassed." Jacob said.

"Same to you, see ya." Edward said. Jacob got out of the car and waved goodbye. He entered his apartment. Edward could hear voices inside greeting him. He drove off toward his condo where the love of his life was.

**Later that night - **

"Hurry up Bella!" Alice yelled. "We have to get going to the club, come on, we haven't hung out in _ages_."

"Alice, we went to the mall two days ago." Bella said.

"That was then, this is now." Alice said as she dragged Bella from her mirror. "And you look fine."

The whole Cullen family was here, minus Carlisle and Esme. They came over for a visit.

**(A/N: They all live in the same city by the way)**

They forced Bella and Edward to go out of their homely apartment to go to a nightclub. Bella and Edward are not the type to go out a lot if you didn't know. They prefer staying at home, watching a movie, and making out. Yeah, that was their Friday night plan.

"Alright alright, I'm done, let's just go and get this over with." Bella said.

Edward was standing next to Jasper patiently, When he saw Bella, his mouth _almost_ dropped. "Bella...you look great."

With that comment, Bella blushed. She still wasn't quite used to Edward complimenting her like that. "Thanks, and you look good too." Bella said.

"No thank you." Edward smiled. They left the condo and sped off toward the night club.

_"Plan to openly display our relationship is in action." Edward thought._

* * *

**END CHAPTER**

**Yay, long chapter. This is going to be a twoshot by the way. I hope you like it. I wrote it kind of differently, not as much dialogue as my other story, but I hope it's alright! Next chapter will be the last! Oh, and I used people from other books(Or tv dating shows) I like for the other people in the class. Like Bret and Ambre from Rock of Love. Cerberus from Harry Potter(it is from Harry Potter right?), Holly Short from Artemis Fowl, and Melody from the Little Mermaid.  
**

**Please R&R!!**


	2. The Circle

**DON DON DON DON. Finally an update! I think it's been like month since I started this story, hehe, so a month later, it's the end. I just thought this would be a cute story, not too serious at all, just a light funny story! So I hope you have fun reading it. It's going to be in Edward's P.O.V from now on. Who knows, maybe I'll write a story about Jake and Julie too! But it's Edward time now! Review! R&R!**

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: -sighs- It's so depressing. But yes, I do not own Twilight or any of the gorgeous Twilight characters.**

**Edward P.O.V.**

We hopped into the cars to drive to the club that Alice has been nagging us about for months. We gave in and actually said yes to her to shut her up. But it's a good chance to try out the methods they told us about in that crazy class. And if anyone gets too close...

Enough of that thought, I might lose my temper just thinking about it. We're in the cars now, Bella doesn't mind the speed racing that we do anymore! I guess it's because she's a vampire now. She's even yelling at Emmett to speed it up!

"Hurry up! I just want to get this night over with! It's enough that Alice came over and tortured me! Just get there already!" Bella yelled.

"Alright. Alright. We're getting there. Even I think I'm going to fast now. We might get pulled over." Jasper said.

"Come on Bella, be a little more excited! This is the best club in town!" Alice squealed.

We pulled over in the parking lot and piled out. I looked up at the building in front of us. It was...bright, that's for sure. Lights were beaming out of the windows that it actually had and you can't really see through them. There were bouncers at the double doors. There was a huge line too, it stretched pretty far. But Alice just strutted up to the bouncer, showed her ID, and got us all in with no problem, we didn't even have to wait.

"Alice, what did you do?" Bella asked.

"Oh nothing, I know the owner." Alice replied innocently. Yeah right, she practically IS the owner.

"She is the owner." Emmett muttered.

"What was that?" Alice asked dangerously.

Emmett started whistling. "Oh nothing Ms. Big Club Owner. Oh wait, I'm sorry, it's a Mrs. Big Club Owner."

"Emmett McCarty Cullen. Do you want this to be your last day in existence?" Alice seethed threateningly.

"Oh crap." Emmett ran into the dance floor into the sea of people. Alice started muttering about how she'd get him later. I pulled Bella into a booth and everyone else followed. Okay, now, time to start the plan. I put my arm around Bella. She looked over at me confusingly. I guess she's not used to me openly showing affection.

I already caught about maybe...27 guys ogling at her. I immediately started glaring at them, but to no avail. They just kept gliding over like I wasn't there.

"Hey babe! How you doing?" Some random guy asked. Bella just scoffed and ignored him.

"Sexy, how about it, want to get sexy back with me?"

"Damn, call the fire department! Because you are hot!"

"Is it hot in here, or is it just you?"

"Can you give me directions? I think I got lost in your eyes."

"Why don't you dump this dud and come dance with me?"

"Get lost." Bella said. She's gotten used to this. Of course, this isn't the first time Alice got us to do something we didn't want to do. Heck, all she ever does is try to get us to do crazy stuff.

"Oh come on. Don't be stingy. I just wanna talk."

Now this kid was getting on my nerves. I usually just leave Bella to ward them off, but this guy is too persistent. I guess it's the perfect time to start the plan.

"No, I already have a **husband**. If you really wanted to know." Bella replied.

"Yeah, and that happens to be me. So back off." I said.

"Do you have any proof that you two are married?" the random guy said. He was a real live idiot. If he just looked at our hands, he'd see the wedding rings. I looked over at Bella. Even though I can't read her mind, we can pretty much guess what each other are thinking.

We turned toward the guy and raised our hands and pointed to our wedding rings. I swear, I have never seen a drunk guy grow so pink so fast. His whole body was turning beet red with anger and embarrassment. It was pretty funny. Eventually he left fuming muttering useless profanity. I looked over at Bella and smiled.

She looked surprised but smiled back. We both laughed and I asked her to dance with me. We went to the dance floor and started dancing. I may be old, but I can dance alright folks. Once we started, a bunch of more guys kept trying to grab Bella. Bella kicked some of them where it hurts. But they kept on coming and coming.

I pushed most of them away and held Bella close. I started glaring menacingly at the others who were left. They seemed to get the message and backed away and tried to touch other girls. I looked down at Bella. She looked beautiful under the light. I couldn't help myself, I bent down and kissed her. No, it wasn't like the kisses before that you've heard about, not the lip touching no action kiss, because now, I'm not afraid to hurt her. She's a vampire now, and let me tell you, this kiss had action. _Lots of it._

"Ewww. Go get a room!" Emmett yelled.

I didn't even notice that everybody had already surrounded us. Emmett had on a face of disgust, as did Rosalie. They were made for each other, weren't they. Alice looked the same, amusement on her face always, as did Jasper. Weren't they made for each other?

"Glad to know that you're having fun Eddie!" Alice yelled.

Bella and I sighed and stepped away from each other. The whole night, drunks kept trying to make a move on Bella, and of course, I went to her rescue. Who said that this didn't work?

Then, there was this one kid. One BIG kid. Yeah, he tried to push me away from Bella. You know I wasn't going to put up with that, did you? I pulled him outside to have a little _talk._ If you know what I mean. He never showed up again. Last thing I heard, he was in the Netherlands. But who knows? I tried a bunch of the methods they told us about. I feel great now! All the guys were now staying a good distance away from Bella, and I feel just peachy about it.

I'm Edward Cullen for heaven's sake. What can't I do? Other than eat, have a heartbeat, or be a human. But who needs that? When you have the love of your life next to you. The night ended and we drove back home.

"Hey Bella."

"Yeah."

"I don't think I need to go to the jealousy class anymore."

"And why do you think that?"

"Just because. Did I kill anyone tonight?"

"No."

"Isn't that improvement enough?"

"No. You scared a guy so much that he ran across to the other side of the world. Nope, you're going to keep going to that class."

"But-"

"No buts, I can handle the normal human guys that think they have a chance. You just work on your jealousy issues. And that includes going to that class."

"But-"

"I said no buts. And that's final."

"Geez, Bella, are you his mom and wife?" Jasper asked from the front seat. Seriously.

"If I have to be."

"Aw Eddie's got a whole family in one person! Isn't that what you always wanted!" Alice squealed.

No. I just wanted Bella to be my loving wife. What happened to the Bella from before!! She sure has changed from the shy teenage Bella to this new confident...vampire Bella. Oh well, I love her just the same.

"Be quiet Alice. Do you want me to tell Jasper your little secret?" I asked.

"What are you talking about?" Alice asked. Of course, I knew of no secret. I just wanted to tease her a bit.

"Yeah what are you talking about?" Jasper asked from the driver's seat.

"Oh you know Alice. THAT secret. The one that no one knows about. Well, except for me."

"Alice, what's he talking about?"

"_Oh crap. Did Edward find out about that secret. Dammit. I knew I shouldn't have maxed out Jasper's credit card. I just couldn't help it. Edward better not tell anyone." Alice thought._

Aw. Having mind reading powers sure are helpful. So there was a secret after all. Now it's to my advantage. "Oh you know, oh wait you don't know Jasper. You see, Alice went shopping one day and-" Alice immediately covered my mouth to prevent me from saying anything.

_"Say something and you're dead!" Alice thought, "and I know you can hear me think! Don't tell him. If you do, I'll tell Bella about your little plan!" _Shock was on my face when I heard that. _"Hah! You think I didn't know! I know everything! I can see the future Eddie!"_

Damn. So much for it being to my advantage. "Fine." I muttered. Alice grinned widely and turned back toward Jasper.

"Don't mind him honey. He's gone crazy and started spitting our delusional comments. That's why he's going to that class I told you about." Alice lied.

"Ooh! Edward, you should go to that class every day or something. It should help." Jasper said oblivious to their lies. He's such a nice guy that he wouldn't even think that we lied to him. Poor guy, he had to be stuck with Alice for all eternity.

"Oh he is going every day. I'll make sure of it!" Bella said also oblivious to all the lies. Sigh. They're pretty gullible. Especially Bella. I'll try again tomorrow.

We got home pretty quick and said goodbye to everyone. Bella and I were tired. My knuckles kind of hurt from my little talk with the big kid. Once we got cleaned up and changed, we collapsed onto the bed. Even though we can't sleep, we rested. We closed our eyes and were at peace.

**Next Morning:**

YAWN. It's about 8:30 A.M. It was some night last night. Maybe I should talk about my success today in the class. Wait. It's not like I'm looking forward to that class. Why should I? Oh wait, I think I hear Bella getting up. Time to get ready. The class starts at 10.

"Good morning." Bella said.

"Good morning, love."

"When does your class start?"

"I think about 10."

"Oh, we have a good hour and a half. What should we do till then?"

"I don't know. How about this?"

I tackled Bella onto the couch and started tickling her. She started laughing like crazy. "HAHAHAHAHA-what-haha-are-ha-you-hahaha-doing!" Bella tried to say.

She then counter-attacked me and tickled me back. Then, I started laughing like crazy. "Payback is sweet!" We kept on chasing each other around the house. We didn't get tired, it's a vampire thing. By the time we knew it, it was already 9:30.

"Oh Edward. You should hurry up and get ready to go to the class!" Bella said. I nodded and went upstairs to freshen up. I got done in about 8 minutes. I went over to Bella and gave her a goodbye kiss and off I went.

**At The Class:**

"Hello class. As you should remember, I'm Mr. Schmit. And this is Shay. Now, how many of you did your class assignment?" Mr. Schmit said. A number of hands went up, but not all of them. "I guess some of you didn't do it. But it's alright. I'm sure you were busy."

"Sure they were. Now let's get in a circle and let those who did it talk about it." Shay said. They got in a circle, which was kind of hard because, well, some were too small and some were too big. The fairy and dog to be specific. But eventually, we all got in an awkward circle and Mr. Schmit started talking again.

"Now, let's get started. Who wants to go first?" One hand was raised. It was the leprechaun, I think her name was Holly. "Yeah, Holly, you may start."

"Well, this is how it went. I went to one of my boyfriend's seminars. It was boring as hell. Humans are so much behind mythical creatures that it's scary. But yeah, I went anyway. And after that, we went to a movie. It was Kungfu Panda(I watched that movie yesterday!). It was kind of funny. But during the whole movie, we were surrounded by his fangirls! They kept trying to squeeze towards him and kept trying to talk to him the whole movie. Then finally, after the movie. We were holding hands and everything. The fangirls still stalked us like maniacs. It was really uncomfortable. So when we got to his house. I made him stay outside for a bit when all the fangirls were watching us like hawks, and I gave him a kiss. Which, of course, made them pissed. And guess what? They tried to jump me the next day!"

"Did they get you?" Prince Jay asked.

"Hell no they didn't. They're just some puny humans." Holly said. "So yeah, your plan backfired."

"Well, I did say it wasn't always going to be effective. I guess fangirls are more persistent and scary than I thought. At least you weren't harmed." Mr. Schmit said. "Now, who's next!" Jay's hand went up. "Alright, Jay it is!"

"Okay, you see what had happened was...I tried the plan. And it didn't work." Jay started. "I told my parents about my relationship with her and it spread throughout the whole kingdom in a flash. I didn't want it to. You see, King Triton, he knew that something had been going on and he was mad when he found out. He flipped out, and tried to throw me into the dungeon. But Melody stopped him and calmed down. The downside is...she won't talk to me anymore. She didn't break up with me, but she just refuses to see me. I don't know what to do."

"Awwww! You are so cute!" All the girls in the class(Shay included) squealed.

"I wish my boyfriend was that caring. All he cares about is money and his inventions." Holly said. All the other girls in the class agreed. That Jay guy got really embarrassed and turned the other way in his tank. Suddenly the door opened.

"Hey! Sorry I'm late. I uhh...had car problems, yeah!" Jacob yelled. It was obviously a lie. "Sorry Everyone. Did I interrupt something?"

"I don't know. YEAH! Now get your werewolf butt into the circle!" Shay yelled. Jacob sheepishly sat down in the circle. "Now since we were rudely interrupted, why don't we let Jacob Black over here tell us his story. You did do your assignment right?"

"Of course! What do you take me for, some irresponsible kid?" Jake said. Everyone just looked at him and nodded. I didn't know he was such a funny guy. "Alright, alright, I'll start. I did do it okay."

"Well last night, after vampire breath over here dropped me off at home, I had a bunch of werewolf friends over. And we kind of had a party. Some guys who weren't invited crashed it anyways and tried to put moves on my girl. Of course I didn't like it and went over and told them to leave. I mean, come on, they were hitting on my soulmate here. They didn't want to leave and tried to force their stay. I told them that Julie was my girlfriend and they should just go imprint on some alley cat. Yeah, they didn't like that and tried to fight me. We got in this huge fight, my guys versus their guys. I won, they left, more like we kicked them out. But then, my Julie got really mad. She was pissed that we kind of wrecked the house just because I was 'jealous' as she says it. So yeah, your plan sucked, Mr. Schmit."

"Not my fault. I said it may or may not work. Plus, it was your own fault for starting a fight and destroying your home. I did say it could backfire if you be a little possessive and such." Mr. Schmit said.

"Yeah yeah yeah, on to the next person. Let's see...how about you, Cullen." Shay said. I looked up and everyone was staring at me.

"I personally, thought it was a success, but my wife thinks not. What happened was that me, her, and my adopted family went out to a nightclub. A whole bunch of guys hit on her, I scared them away. I told them that she was my wife and that they should go away. A lot of them didn't believe us, we showed them our wedding ring. One big kid was still persistent, so I took him out for a little _talk, _if you know what I mean." Edward started. "Then Bella got mad because I scared him all the way to the Netherlands, but I don't see what I did wrong. She told me I had major jealousy problems and that I had to keep coming to this class."

"Told you that they might get mad." Mr. Schmit said.

"SHUT UP ALREADY OLD MAN!" The whole class, plus Shay, screamed.

"Okay, I think that that's it. Everybody else didn't do it right? It's now 11:30. You're next assignment is to talk to your lovers, make up with them if they're mad. If you didn't do the previous one, do it this time. And after that, if they're mad, make up with them. We won't see each other for another 3 days. So see you then. Class dismissed." Shay said.

Finally, it was done. I guess I don't really need to do it. Bella seemed friendly and nice this morning. She didn't seem mad, so I guess it's alright.

"Hey!" Jake yelled.

"Hey dog-boy."

"Sure bloodsucker. Want to catch some lunch?"

"Okay where at?"

"I have no idea. But just drive around. I don't have my car, so you're going to be my driver again."

"Do you really even have a car?"

"Yes! Yes, I do. Is it so hard to believe that?"

"To be honest, yes."

"Let's just get lunch."

We got into my car and drove around until we saw this steakhouse around the block. Jacob decided on that restaurant and we went in. The person in charge there was a woman, they looked kind of busy, but once she took a look at us, hearts were in her eyes. Great, another lovesick fangirl. Just add it to the list.

"Oh, gentlemen, right this way. Is it just you two?" She asked with a fake high pitched voice.

"Yes, our _wives___are somewhere together, so it's just us two." Jacob said with amusement. Once he said that, her face dropped and annoyance was clear on her face. But a second later, she went all happy again.

"Alright, right this way." She led us toward a table for two. She still had hearts in her eyes, I guess she decided to ignore that we had lovers. She finally left us to be after getting our drinks and giving us menus.

"Our _wives_ are together huh?"

"Oh, you didn't know. They actually are. I told Julie about it and they met at the grocery place, she recognized Bella right away and they hit it off. They went to the spa together."

Seriously? I guess Bella is immune to the werewolf smell, she already knew it when she was a human, so I guess she doesn't mind. But it's weird, the once enemies are now good friends' girls are becoming friends. Maybe we should double date, haha. I just had a drink and Jacob ordered a steak.

"Oh yeah! I almost forgot, you can't eat."

"I can eat, but it'll taste horribly. So I prefer not to."

"Right, well be jealous because here comes my steak."

Jacob ate the steak really quick. It, of course, looked delicious and smelled delicious, sometimes I hope that I could eat. After that, we drove over to my house and hung out a bit. I called Bella and she said she was coming home soon and that she'll bring Julie over.

Hours later. Jacob and I were watching a football game on TV. I was cheering for the Patriots and Jacob was cheering for the Panthers! We were yelling at the TV screen like mad men. At that time, Bella came home with Julie. Julie was really pretty, she and Jacob fit together pretty well. And from the looks of how Bella and her were acting with each other, they seem to feel that they each found a new best friend. But Jacob and I were too absorbed in the game to care. They both got mad and started yelling at us to shut up.

"Shut the TV off already!"

"Stop yelling at the TV already, it's not going to answer back no matter how loud you shout!"

"Do it or it's over!" They both yelled.

At that, both of us stopped talking and turned to look over at them with puppy dog eyes. "Oh no Julie, they're doing puppy dog eyes! Let's run upstairs so we won't get affected!" Bella yelled. They ran upstairs toward our room. Jacob and I burst out laughing. Eventually they came back down and forgave us. Jacob and Julie left for home and it was just Bella and me. I smirked my crooked smirk and jumped on Bella.

**:**

**End Chapter.**

**I lied. I want to go on a bit with this story so it's not the end. I feel that it's not ready so get ready for another chapter! R&R!**

**REVIEW!!**


	3. Twilight the Movie

**What am I thinking? I can't decide to make it a fourshot, or a story. That's just crazy. But hey, people call me crazy all the time. Here it is, the third chapter. I don't know if it's the last chapter or not sooooo...read it!! **

**Review! R&R!!**

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: I do not, but wish I did, own Twilight or any of the Twilight characters(Jake!--:( Go TEAM SWITZERLAND!**

**Chapter 3**

**Edward POV:**

Bella is still mad. STILL. I thought she would be happy because I'm good friends with the guy I once hated. But no, she's still mad about the incident with the football game. I guess I still have to do the assignment too. Women...

I looked around the room. Bella was on the couch next to me, Rosalie and Emmett on the other. I was just about to reach for the remote when Bella snatched it away.

"No TV. No Football. No ANYTHING."

"But-"

"No buts."

"But-"

"I said no buts Edward Mason Cullen." She just had to use my full name.

"Alice was right. Bella is the wife and mother, how cute." Rosalie said amusingly.

"You got that right, but Bella, I want to watch TV. Are you mad at me too?" Emmett asked.

"Oh of course not. How could I ever be mad at you."

Once Rosalie heard that, she tensed up. Haha, she's a little uptight about these kind of things, Emmett should send her to the jealousy class too. "What do you mean by that, Bella?" Rosalie asked dangerously.

Bella immediately figured it out. Well, she's not stupid, she's MY wife of course. "Oh no. I don't mean it like that Rose. Emmett's like the big brother I never had! I love him like a brother of course. Plus, I'm already married to Edward, right honey?"

Oh, she chooses now not to be mad at me huh. "I don't know if we are, my wife is currently mad at me because of TV."

Hmm, I wonder what she'll do. "Do you WANT me to be mad at you?!" Bella asked. Her temper was rising, anger was rushing to her head. Oh crap. I haven't seen her this mad since Christmas when some guy lunged for her breast. Best to get out as fast as possible. I got up and in a flash I was at the stairs.

"Edward Mason Cullen..." Bella started. "Get back down here now."

"Ooh, look at the time. Mom has come out. I think maybe we should leave this family here to have their bonding time. How about you Rose?" Emmett said.

"I agree." Rosalie said. "Let's get out of here before she blows like before at Christmas." Rosalie whispered to Emmett.

At that note, Rosalie and Emmett were gone as lightning, they even left the front door open. Oh, there's Emmett's jeep speeding off into the distance. Oh yeah, Bella! "Bella."

"What is it!" Bella snapped.

"I'm sorry. It was just a joke."

"Oh, I didn't know the cold Edward had a sense of humor."

"Bella. Don't be like this. I don't want to fight anymore." How about that for the assignment, I'm even being the peacemaker here. Next time at the class, I'll bring good news. I looked over at Bella and gave the best puppy dog face I could make.

At that look, her gaze softened. She sighed and made her way over to me. "I'm sorry. I was overreacting because of the TV thing. It's not like I'm not happy you and Jake are getting along. I was just a little embarrassed because Julie was there."

"Why were you embarrassed? Jacob was doing the same thing."

"Don't make me think about it. It's embarrassing just thinking about it. But it's alright now, I'm calm, I'm over it."

"Haha. Don't worry about it, I forgive you."

I grabbed her hand and led her back into the living room. "So, what do you want to do?" What should we do? Watch a movie, go out, scratch that, we are not going out. "How about a movie?"

"That sounds good. Which movie?"

Hmm, let's see what we have. Shrek 3, Scary Movie 3, Finding Nemo, Click, The Passion of the Christ, A Walk to Remember, Twilight, The Eye... "How about Twilight? We haven't seen it yet."

"Sounds good! Put it in! I've been meaning to see this. I wonder how Robert Pattinson does, he didn't scream out Edward to me(okay, these are my personal feelings in here, hehe)." Well, this is like a chick-flick, so I don't really care about the guys. I could care less really, but as long as it makes her happy. I put the DVD in and pressed the play button. Previews, previews, trailers, ah, I'll just click the menu button. There it is, play movie.

**30 Minutes Later:**

I am so bored. Seriously, what's with the movie. I heard it was based on some popular book series, but come on. At least it has vampires in it, they got some stuff right though, like how we sparkle in the sun, our eye colors, our abilities. And that guy Edward, what's with him? I can't believe I even have the same name as him. He treated the girl like trash! I wouldn't do that do that girl I liked.

I looked over at Bella and she almost has tears in her eyes. It's a girl thing. They always love these romance stuff, don't they? I just want to see something funny...like...like...kungfu panda!

"How old are you?"

"17."

"How long have you been seventeen?"

"...a while."

Oh please, how sappy is that? Where's all the action? All the fighting? I heard there was a fight scene in this movie.

**30 Minutes Later:**

Yes! Finally, the fight scene. That Edward guy is beating the shit out of the James guy! Finally! I remember when I fought a guy named James. Now that I think of it, it's eerily similar to the scene in the movie...oh well, it's probably nothing. My fight had way more action...and blood.

I looked over at Bella and she looked...mad? I wonder why.

"I hate that James guy. He reminds of the James that kidnapped me before." Bella said.

"Yeah, he kind of does."

Bella shrugged. "Oh well, it's probably just a coincidence." (oh, how naive they are)

We continued the movie until the end. The movie was eh. Wish it had more fighting, but it's a chick-flick after all. It was getting late, so Bella and I decided to have a whole movie marathon. I insisted on watching Kungfu Panda. I mean come on, it's funny, a fat panda is the dragon warrior. Bella gave in, and we watched it. Then we continued our marathon all the way until 9 in the morning.

It gets boring as a vampire sometimes. There's so little to do in so much time. We can't sleep, so what are we supposed to do? It's finally morning. So I got up from the couch and went to go get ready. It took about 20 minutes. My slightly messy hair isn't natural all the time. I had some bed hair.

What am I supposed to do for the next 2 days? My life isn't exciting like it used to be. Like when I had a crazy redhead vampire after me, or when I had the Volturi after me. I can't believe that I'm actually looking forward to the classes now.

The bruise looking bags under my eyes are getting worse. And Bella, for some reason that I don't know of, is mad at me again. Really? What did I do? All I did was got ready in the bathroom for twenty minutes, what's so wrong about that. She was going on about how long I was taking and that she really needed to go.

**(A/N: Can vampires go pee? I don't know, but I'm going to let them be able too! Oh, and I might, keyword is might, use an idea from Jasper1843, might, well because, hehe, those scenes are embarrassing for me to write, and I'm 14, so I don't know much about them! Okay! SO don't expect much! XD)**

"Bella! Come on, open the door!"

"No..."

"Bella, love, please?"

"NO!"

"Why are you so mad?"

"I'm not mad..."

"Then why won't you open the door?"

"..."

"Say something, please?" I asked. "Why are you so upset?"

"I'm upset because..."

"Because...?"

"We've been together for so long now, but ever since you started those jealousy classes, we've been drifting apart..."

"What makes you think that?"

"Well, we almost never spend time together."

"We just spent the whole night together though, love."

"Yeah, but that was the first time in a long long time."

"I guess it has. I'm sorry Bella. But now, I don't have another class until two more days. We can spend as much time together as we want." I said. It has been a while since we've...

"Edward."

"Yes, Bella?"

"Can you...?"

"Can I what?"

Bella put on a light grin, and started staring at me. It's not like I can read her mind, so she might as well just say it."

"It's embarrassing, jeez, I haven't asked this since we were in high school, when I wasn't a vampire."

Oh. She meant that. God, what a modest couple we are, haha.

"Can you...make love to me?" Bella asked. She started blushing like crazy, she hasn't done that in a while. Still, the same old Bella, and I love it.

**(A/N: OMG, sorry, you don't know how much it took me to write that line, ugh, I would never say that, but how else am I supposed to start it...)**

"I don't know, I don't want to hurt you." I said teasingly.

"Edward!"

I smiled my trademark crooked smile and walked over to Bella. I lifted her chin up. "Of course." Gently, I lifted my head down, and kissed her gently. We slid onto the bed, and I started to kiss her even more deeply.

Bella started unbuttoning my shirt, as I did to her. Things progressed, and then we were naked under the covers. I started kissing Bella again.

"Edward."

"Yes."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

**:**

**END CHAPTER! A short chapter...**

**And I'll leave your imaginations to continue it, because I just can't continue it, haha. You can just guess what they do next, can't you. IMAGINATION. Yeah, as you can tell, I don't usually write those kind of scenes, so I probably won't ever try a sex scene again. And it wasn't much anyways. Maybe a couple of more chapters, I don't it to be a real long story. AH, I changed my mind again, I'm a very indecisive person. After I finish up this story, I might take a long break from fanfiction, OR I might write another short story about Jake and Julie! Like, I said, I'm a VERY indecisive person, hehe.**

**Oh, and Kungfu Panda. HAHA, I just watched that movie like two weeks ago, and I really liked it! So for some reason, i just put it in here for fun! xD**

**R&R!! Review people!**


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